Customer : “Pardon me. But I can’t seem to get my i-Dola to work.”
Support : “What do you mean by can’t get it to work?”
Customer : “Everytime I boot it up, it goes straight into Sleep Mode. Am I missing something?”
Support : “Owh, that’s perfectly normal for i-Dola. It’s the feature and there’s nothing wrong with it.”
Customer : “And worse…”
Support : “What’s worse than going into Sleep Mode?”
Customer : “The other day I tried to network i-Dola with Jean-i…”
Support : “And?”
Customer : “i-Dola went into Hibernation Mode and Jean-i hanged itself! Is that a special feature too?”
Support : “Oh Allah!!!”
It has been brought to my attention that a very active and well known blogger in Malaysia blogosphere has been suspected to have a condition that is, apparently, not very normal.
Whilst the nature of this condition cannot be ascertained due to insufficient data, its infectious potential has yet to be ruled out.
In view of the potential danger it poses to the society, I hereby declare a state of emergency.
If, in anytime within the past 3 months, you have been to any form of wild party, been in direct or indirect contact with any suspicious person that has any connection with the said active blogger, including a hyperlink directly or indirectly to the active blog, regardless whether it’s of the same sex or of the opposite sex or somewhere in between, you are hereby advised to get yourself checked by your regular doctor.
And if, by any chance, you notice any of the symptoms listed below, you should get yourself admitted to the nearest hospital as soon as possible and be placed under quarantine until you are cleared.
1. Presence of ulcer.
2. Presence of pus.
3. Active bleeding.
4. Presence of scar.
5. Presence of tear.
6. Presence of anything plastic in or on the affected part.
7. Tenesmus.
8. Presence of blood in stool.
It is the least you can do to protect your society and your loved ones.
This is a community service message brought to you by drliew.net.
Uncle : “So now it’s a triangular relationship - Pak Lah, Najib and Anwar. Suddenly all these liwat meliwat cases kept popping up. I don’t know who to believe anymore.”
Dr. Liew : “As far as I’m concerned, it’s still only BN (Barisan Nasional) vs PR (Pakatan Rakyat). I don’t believe in SOAP opera, although I admit they can be very entertaining. I was hoping to see result. And since BN still can’t deliver, and my nasi lemak bungkus is now three ringgit instead of eighty sen 2 years ago, they left me no choice.”
Uncle : “But having Anwar being the prime minister doesn’t really look very promising. I think either way, we also die.”
Dr. Liew : “Look. Right now, the only thing that we know for sure is that we are still being fucked in the ass after we sent them a very clear message on March 8th this year that we don’t like getting sodomised. Do they care? On the contrary, they fuck us even harder!”
Uncle : “True also.”
Dr. Liew : “And they are saying that by lowering the price of petrol, we will be using up the money from the future allocated for our children. For gawd’s sake, at the rate the current inflation is going, I doubt anyone would want to think they can afford having children when they are currently even too afraid to die because of the rising cost of funeral!”
Uncle : “So, it’s Anwar, eh?”
Dr. Liew : “Look, you can still choose to support BN, knowing very well that you will get sodomised to death and die with your mata terbeliak. Or you can give PR a chance. You may still die, of course, but you may close your eyes because, at the least, you died trying.”
国能鼓励商厦放光明 国庆月亮灯折扣电费
2008/07/04 17:54:50
南洋商报
国能将在今年8月1日至9月30日提供国庆月亮灯优惠电费折扣，惟这项优惠附带一项条件，即用户8月或9月的用电量必须超过今年5月至7月的用电量平均数，方能享有优惠资格。
（吉隆坡4日讯）为了鼓励大厦业主响应国庆亮灯运动，国能将在今年8月和9月提供优惠电费折扣，让举国同欢庆51周年的国庆日，过一个“光明的国庆”！
国能早在2000年开始，在国庆月期间为大厦业主提供国庆月优惠电费折扣，旨在为业主省下一笔电费之余，也让全国大厦亮灯，与民同庆国庆日。
国能代表卡玛丽雅指出，国能即日起开放申请，有兴趣响应国庆月亮灯运动的大厦业主可前往国能办事处索取表格，并在今年9月15日前提呈申请。
她补充，凡是曾向国能登记响应亮灯运动的大厦业主，国能将依据纪录自动传真申请表格。
每千瓦时收费0.169仙
她透露，国能将在今年8月1日至9月30日提供国庆月亮灯优惠电费折扣，惟这项优惠附带一项条件，即用户8月或9月的用电量必须超过今年5月至7月的用电量平均数，方能享有优惠资格。
目前，商用电量每千瓦时（kWh）收费为0.408仙；国庆月优惠期间为每千瓦时（kWh）收费为0.169仙。
卡玛丽雅星期五受邀前往出席“团结是成功的基石”国庆月活动的汇报会时，如是指出。
陪同出席者尚包括吉隆坡市长拿督哈晋柏汉、吉隆坡市政厅总监拿督沙烈尤索夫和国民团结、艺术、文化与文物部总监阿兹曼。
根据国能记录显示，配合国庆月电费优惠期间，国能于2006年成功为大厦业主节省68万令吉的电费，其中吉隆坡电费占34万4千令吉；2007年则省下140万令吉的电费，吉隆坡电费占61万7千令吉。
Source
Thus while the rest of the world is busy conserving energy, TNB actually encourage wastage?
One day in Malaysia parliament…
Barisan Nasional backbencher Bung Mokhtar Radin (BN-Kinabatangan) is said to have made an obscene gesture in the Dewan Rakyat today that was caught on the ‘live’ television broadcast - but he denies it.
Bung Mokhtar told TheSun outside the House that he did not make the gesture, described as the ‘palm hitting a clenched fist’.
MP of Kinabatangan Datuk Bung Mokhtar Radin said that “It was not a bad sign- i was just showing like this only” during Dewan Rakyat sitting at Parliament House.
Yeaaahhh~~~ Riiiggghhhttt~~~
Who knows, the next day, this YouTube clip surfaced - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dxy7ji65K0o
And then this…
Bung Mokhtar Radin (Kinabatangan-BN) today did a U-turn, admitting that he had made an obscene gesture in the Dewan Rakyat yesterday during a dispute with some Pakatan Rakyat MPs.
Yes, I did it, but it (the gesture) is not what it means. Everybody has their own perception and it is not rude and it is not what people think it is,” he said when met in the Parliament lobby.
Referrals :
http://malaysiakini.com/news/85787
http://www.sun2surf.com/article.cfm?id=23832
http://malaysiakini.com/news/85812
And since the gesture is not considered rude for him, perhaps everyone, especially the rakyat, should show him the gesture whenever and wherever we see him, and to his family too. I wonder if his fellow members from his party would agree with him and thus we can show all of them the same gesture.
Come to think of it, maybe this poor sod had been shown the same gesture eversince his pathetic childhood, from his parents, relatives as well as close friends and party members, five times a day. They might have placed their clenched fist on his head and hit it with the palm of the other hand. It would then followed by him attempting to relocate his jaw by knocking his chin up a few times, also to counteract the stupidity bestowed upon him.
So much for a member of parliament…
It seems that making a statutory declaration under oath has finally lost its credibility.
The latest trend is to swear by some holy book.
I still remember a decade or so ago, it was chopping chicken head, Chinese gangster style.
I wonder why don’t they bring in some lie detector, or do some functional MRI.
But then again, fMRI will only work if their cranial cavity is not empty.
An old asshole was charged with assholing another asshole ten years ago. The old asshole was caught and had his asshole beaten out of his ass by another asshole. The old asshole was then sent to jail to have his asshole assholed by other assholes.
Three months ago, the old asshole returned and showed the other assholes the real asshole and the other assholes got so assholed that they lost lots of assholes.
Last saturday, the old asshole’s asshole has been put on the assholing board for the second time. Apparently another asshole has lodged an assholing report saying that his asshole has been assholed by the old asshole.
The big asshole claimed immediately that he is not the asshole who is trying to asshole the old asshole. And he will leave the assholing case to the assholes for investigation.
So now, who’s the asshole behind the asshole?
