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Tuesday, December 8th, 2009

1Malaysia

Sabah & Sarawak to be relocated

KUALA LUMPUR - In an effort to strengthen national unity and in line with the 1Malaysia concept, Prime Minister Datuk Seri Mohd Najib Tun Razak announced today that the East Malaysian states of Sabah and Sarawak would be moved to the peninsula.

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BEFORE: Sabah and Sarawak in their current location

Speaking at a Press conference after a Cabinet meeting, Najib said that the relocation was necessary to ensure that the nation’s different peoples would not have any more physical boundaries to mix around.

“We’ve had the vast South China Sea separating the two Malaysias for the longest time now,” said the Prime Minister excitedly. “It’s time to close the gap, and allow our different races, tribes and cultures to naturally immerse with one another.”

The relocation plan is scheduled to start next year, with reclamation works commencing in May.

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AFTER: The new, unified ‘1Malaysia’ Malaysia

“It’s a big project, costing well over RM850 trillion,” said Najib. “The project would take 10 years to complete, since we’d need to move all the soil, water sources, flora, fauna, man-made structures and of course, the people. But it’ll be worth it, since we’ll truly be 1Malaysia.”

The two huge states, spanning nearly 200,000 square kilometres, are now part of the greater Borneo island together with Brunei Darussalam and the part of Indonesia called Kalimantan, but would be joined with the eastern side of Peninsular Malaysia.

“The states would be reconstructed almost exactly identical to how they are now,” said Najib. “This would ensure that the natives would not feel `out of place’ when they move back to their relocated homes.

“Of course, we might `improve’ some things when we rebuild the states. We’re thinking, maybe Mount Kinabalu could be higher than Everest. I mean, why not? It’s not every day that you get to change what nature has given us.

“And if we take the soil from inside Gua Niah and use it to add on Mount Kinabalu’s height, we’d get both a bigger cave and taller mountain, effectively rewriting two Guinness World Records. Now that’s what I call value for money!”

Asked what the neighbouring Brunei and Indonesia had to say about the move, Najib said that he had discussed the issues with the leaders of both nations.

“His Majesty the Sultan of Brunei did ask me why we were taking Sabah and Sarawak away, leaving his kingdom just a group of tiny islands in the middle of the South China Sea. The Indonesian president also voiced his concern,” said the PM.

“However, I told them that we all need to `hijrah’ to better ourselves, and that neighbours move away all the time. And I also reassured them that although we may be physically further after this, we would always be close in our hearts. They were very understanding.

“Besides, after this, there’d be no more issue of illegal smuggling across the borders and such.”

On protests by the Kelantan state government, citing the `loss of a coastline’ and `off-shore petroleum’, Najib said that this is of national interest, and the opposition-held state administration should not be so selfish.

“These people simply refuse to understand the importance of 1Malaysia. They keep on looking a the small things like the death of their fishing industry or the loss of billions of ringgit of income.

“Serves the Kelantanese people right for voting in such small-minded leaders.”

Source - thanks to michaelooi.net

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Friday, December 4th, 2009

Farmville Bug

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If you have been playing FarmVille on Facebook, you should be familiar with the layout above.

Your farming area is divided into 9 quadrants, separated by 4 lines. Your farm is in the center.

Under normal circumstances, each line will cross one of the four borders of your farming area - upper left, upper right, lower left and lower right.

But on my farm, the upper right border crosses precisely through the middle of my farm.

Now I can still plow, seed and harvest on my entire farm area but I cannot move any of my items beyond the upper right border (note the two red arrows) which passes right through the middle of my farm.

WTF is happening?

Update : It’s back to normal now. Probably a glitch.

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Thursday, September 10th, 2009

Building Blaster

Play Building BlasterBuilding Blaster
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Sunday, August 16th, 2009

The PHFSA Song

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Sunday, July 12th, 2009

Illuminated Coaster

dscf3618s

dscf3619s

dscf3617s

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Saturday, July 11th, 2009

Colour Mechanical Pencils

0.7mm

dscf3604s

Red, green, blue, pink, violet purple.

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Saturday, April 25th, 2009

Conversation

TNB : “We can negotiate one.”

Mr. Wong : “What is there to negotiate? I didn’t temper with the meter! I am not going to pay a single sen!”

TNB : “So you don’t want to negotiate?”

Mr. Wong : “I am going to complain to Biro Pengaduan Am.”

TNB : “Go ahead!”

Mr. Wong : *complain complain complain*

BPA : “You go complain to Suruhanjaya Tenaga.”

Mr. Wong : “Okay.” *complain complain complain*

Suruhanjaya Tenaga : “Let us investigate.”

Mr. Wong : “Okay.”

Suruhanjaya Tenaga : “Our conclusion is that you go and negotiate with TNB.”

Mr. Wong : “Okay.”

TNB : “So you want to pay or not? We can negotiate one.”

Mr. Wong : “I am not going to pay anything!”

TNB : “So you don’t want to negotiate?”

Mr. Wong : “I come here to negotiate but I am not going to pay anything.”

TNB : “Then there is nothing to negotiate lor. We go cut power lor.”

Mr. Wong : “I go and make police report.”

TNB : “You go and make lor. We got power to cut your power one. We not sked.”

Mr. Wong : *complain complain complain to member of parliament*

MP : “I give you two choice - you pay, or you can go to court.”

Mr. Wong : “#$%~$%#%^!!!”

Dr. X : “Wei! WTF my clinic power got cut?”

Mr. Wong : “It’s not my fault! I complained to BPA, ST and even made police report!”

Dr. X : “I rent shop from you and now I don’t have power! You get my power back or I am going to move out!”

Mr. Wong : “Wei wei wei! Dun la lidat! We are on the same boat here! I am doing all I can!”

Dr. X : “You want to sink you sink alone! I go swim somewhere else.”

Mr. Wong : “Dun la lidat! We go find Dr. Liew, he sure can help one.”

Dr. Liew : “You think I so free?”

Dr. X & Mr. Wong : “Please lar please please puleeze…”

Dr. Liew : “Let me call up Suruhanjaya Tenaga.”

Suruhanjaya Tenaga : “Mr. Wong should negotiate with TNB.”

Dr. Liew : “But they are asking Mr. Wong to pay. Mr. Wong doesn’t want to pay.”

Suruhanjaya Tenaga : “Then bring to court lor.”

Dr. Liew : “Any other option?”

Suruhanjaya Tenaga : “Can rent our generator set. Veli cheap only! Hehehe.”

Dr. Liew : “Fuck you!”

Mr. Wong : “I tell you hor… This ST and TNB snake rat one nest one…”

Dr. Liew : “Wait I call TNB CEO Che Khalib.”

Sexcretary : “Boss busy. I pass you to his special officer (SO aka Ass’Ole).”

Ass’Ole : “I will consult with my boss.”

Dr. Liew : “Call me back.”

Ass’Ole : “My boss say you should ask Mr. Wong to negotiate.”

Mr. Wong : “See? No use one.”

Dr. Liew : “You go see my lawyer. She very lenglui one. Her name Miss Yong.”

Mr. Wong : “Okay. Got discount arh?”

Dr. Liew : “Got got got! Half price for you.”

Miss Yong’s assistant : “Want to see boss? MYR 250.00 upfront please. Discounted price for Dr. Liew.”

Mr. Wong : “#$%~$%#%^!!!” *pay*

Miss Yong : “I can represent Mr. Wong. TNB is known to use this kind of tactic. I will write them letter.”

Dr. X : “Wei wei wei! What about me? My patients are dying left right center out there!!!”

Miss Yong : “Since this case is between Mr. Wong and TNB, you can go to TNB and ask them to open another account under your own name.”

Dr. Liew : “Will they allow another account to be opened at the same address while there’s an MYR 20k lawsuit pending?”

Miss Yong : “I am sure they can. But whether they want to do it or not is another matter.”

Dr. Liew : “Oi! Ass’Ole! Can Dr. X open a new account with TNB while waiting for Mr. Wong and TNB to rot in hell?”

Ass’Ole : “I also dunno. I am not very well-versed with this.”

Dr. Liew : “Then can you suggest someone that is more well-versed than you?”

Ass’Ole : “It’s 5pm. I will try to get Puan K of TNB to call you back today if I can get hold of her, or tomorrow.”

… to be continued…

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