So I saw an item on a promotion booklet - Pesta Alat-alat Elektrik - 21 Dec 2007 to 6 Jan 2008. Just the item that I was looking for. An emergency charger taking in a single AA cell to charge almost every electrical gadget around. You will just need an adapter for the device concerned, which I have plenty. With a single AA cell, you will never run out of juice on your handphone, PDA, MP3 player, GPS devices etc.

And yesterday was the first day of the promotion period.

Holding the said booklet tightly in my hand, I drove a hundred kilometers yesterday to the nearest store, enduring hours of traffic jam on my way. After parking my Enzo, I dashed to the electrical appliances section, looking up and down for it.

Not found.

Looked again, 3 big rounds, everywhere. And considering how big the store is, it’s not easy to do 3 rounds.

Not found.

Troubled, I went to the information counter. Some makciks were waiting for some free gifts to the items they have just purchased. My turn came 5 minutes later. After listening to my problem, the staff from information counter called up Mr. D via a walkie-talkie to assist me in looking for the item. Another 5 minutes, Mr. D turned up. After another 5 minutes of flirting with the information counter girl, and me coughing for attention repeatedly to break up their foreplay, Mr. D turned to me. I told him I couldn’t find the item stated in the booklet. Mr. D told me I should look under the DIY section.

I told him I’ve been there, done that and swiped the toilet roll. I insisted that he show me personally. But he then told me to look for it under electrical appliances section. I told him I’ve been there, done that too, three times in fact, and left a soiled condom.

He then gave me the excuse that he is not in charge of the DIY section. So I told him to bring me to the staff in charge. He then told me he doesn’t know who is in charge and I insisted that he call up the store manager to find out.

His erection went down immediately and stormed off to the DIY section. I followed. He tried to walk very fast. But unfortunately for him, although he has relatively long legs, mines are longer!

Arriving at the DIY section, he started looking for the item left, right and center.

Not found.

So he decided to go back to the electrical appliances section to use the phone to call up another staff. On our way, another customer stopped him, bent him over and shove his big fat dick into his asshole. Apparently he wanted to buy a TV and couldn’t find anyone to attend to the matter. Another few big dark foreigners with curly hairs stopped him to enquire about something else too. And I can tell you you would rather get sodomised for real than to be in his position.

Having enjoyed watching his sexual ordeals with other customers, we arrived at the phone. He placed the call but nobody picked up at the other end. I think he was also almost at the end of his life line. He kept cursing in his native language into the mouthpiece. And finally, Mr. L was seen dragging out some other stocks from the storeroom. He stopped Mr. L and informed him of my problem.

Mr. L told him the stock hasn’t arrived. There’s nothing he can do.

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!

So I got their names and told them I work for a local media. And I am going to expose this incident.

Then they started purging.

Staffs : “Ini company memang majiam ini mia lar… Kami sudah manyak kali kena diu customer lor… Tiap-tiap minit pun ada orang diu…”

Dr. Liew : “Kesian punggung… Kalau majiam ini, suruh manager tutup kedai, gulung tikar, balik kampung lar!”

Staffs : “Minta Tuan faham lah, kami ini kichimiao saja, mana berani mau buat bising. Tuan pigi buat bising kat bos lar…”

They started calling me ‘Tuan’… Haihs…

So I decided to bring this matter towards the proper channel.

Found on the last page was a telephone number : 1-300-88-2939. Customer careline. I made my next move.

J attended to my call. I told her I was holding the promotion booklet in my hand and I couldn’t find the item being promoted despite it being the first day of the promotion period. She promptly directed me to the information counter. This time, I told her I already bukakked there.

She finally got clever and resorted to check on the inventory on her computer. And she discovered that the supplier defaulted. Apparently they were promised that the stock would arrive on the 20th, one day before the promotion start but it’s now late.

I told her I don’t care if the supplier suddenly got ran over by a lorry or had to attend to an unforeseen funeral of an immediate family member. The least they could do is to put up a notice informing their customers the said item is out of stock. Better still, made sure they are well stocked before handing out their promotional booklets. Or at the least, their staffs should be well informed. They shouldn’t have let their staffs and customers running around like fools. Having traveled a hundred kilometer, wasting hours, just to be told that the item worth MYR 19.90 doesn’t even exist in the first place!!!

She advised me to go to the information counter to fill up some request form so that they can inform me when the stock arrive. I told her that won’t be necessary unless the store manager can deliver the said item to me personally when the stock arrives. She said she will see what she can do about it.

I told her I would expose this scam of her company to fool its customers, promoting items that are non existent, to underhandedly bring down the sales of their rivals. She told me that, putting her feet in my shoes, she would do the same. I thanked her for the encouragement after asking if her feet smell as nice as mine because I only allow nice courteous girls with a sweet voice like her, and with nice smelling feet to put theirs into my shoes.

After hanging up my phone, I filled up the request form accordingly. And my phone rang.

RPCNs : “Doc, are you done yet? We are ready to checkout.”

Dr. Liew : “No. Put everything back. We are not going to buy anything.”

RPCNs : “But but but… Your chicken wings? Your dory fillet? Salted butter, Haagen-Dazs icecream…”

Dr. Liew : “Put them back! Put them all back!!! Or better still, leave them all at the checkout counter. We are going home empty handed.”

RPCNs : “What happened?”

Dr. Liew : “Do as I say or you can take the next taxi home yourselves!”

RPCNs : *gulp* “Yes, doc!”

And RPC team left.

On our way back…

RPCNs : “What happened, doc?”

Dr. Liew : “Let’s just say there will be so many dead bodies tomorrow that all the coffin shops in Malaysia will run out of stock! And me going nuclear will make Peter Petrelli look like an Ah Kua, not that he isn’t already one. But this will help him make up his mind to finally go for that sexual reassignment surgery that he has always wanted.”

RPCNs : *gulp* *gulp* *gulp*

Fuck!

If you happen to work with them. Quit now now NOW! 

If you happen to know any relatives or friends working with them, tell them to quit immediately. Otherwise the collective curses they receive from their customers might land on them, or worse, their immediate family members or close friends, which might happen to be YOU!

This is a very serious community message from drliew.net.

If you want to know which company I am talking about, feel free to call up their customer careline to find out.

Someone even told me : “This one biasa lah… Everyone knows… They are like that one…”

And so I decided to, hopefully, put a stop to this kind of dirty scam, once and for all. To top it off, even their own staffs are spitting on their upper managements.

So walk with me.

Thank you.

Your beloved,
doc