整容

Doc: Hello, Sergio! I am Doc.

Sergio: Buongiorno Signore Doc! Long time no see. How are you?

Doc: Sto bene. Look, let’s cut to the chase.

Sergio: How can I be of service, Signore?

Doc: I have a friend from Singapore. Instead of multiple plastic surgeries for her face here and there, she thinks she needs to overhaul her head.

Sergio: Oh yes, you are correct! I specialise in head transplants. Instead of multiple surgeries, I solve all the problems in one sitting. Very time-saving.

Doc: But her husband is not very rich.

Sergio: That won’t be a problem. The Chinese government is sponsoring me with all the money and all the heads for the moment until I can prove to the world my success.

Doc: Great! I am sending her photo to you. Please do the needful. *send photo*

Sergio: Ciao bella! Are you kidding me? She doesn’t need any surgery! She is as succulent as she is! But she does look a little fierce.

Doc: I think she was just being serious.

Sergio: Fierce, serious, doesn’t matter. Nothing more that I can do to improve her perfection.

Doc: Okay, what about the other way round?

Sergio: What do you mean by ‘the other way round’?

Doc: Keep the head and change the body.

Sergio: You are nuts! I am a head transplant expert, not a body transplant expert.

Doc: Oh, come on! Keep the head, change the body; keep the body, change the head. What is so different between the two?

Sergio: Hmm… That makes sense… What is wrong with her body?

Doc: Well, she has been removed of her appendix, gallbladder and also her uterus. There are scars. A perfect body with everything intact, minus all the scars, will bring her score back to a full mark.

Sergio: Hmm… That can be arranged. It will mean multiple organ transplants in a single sitting for me. I will be famous!

Doc: So, it can be done?

Sergio: Most definitely!

Doc: Great! But one more thing. She is asking for a brain transplant too.

Sergio: Why?

Doc: She says she has no brain.

Sergio: That will be an implant, not a transplant. A transplant will be exchanging something with another thing. An implant is putting something into a place which is empty in the first place.

Doc: I see. I will clarify with her.

Sergio: One thing I don’t understand.

Doc: Si?

Sergio: How have you been talking to someone with no brain?

Doc: OMG! OMG! OMFG!

Sergio: Right! It is not even the 7th lunar month, yet.

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