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Saturday, April 29th, 2006

Jogoya Part 1/3

Have you been tired of eating buffets full of spaghettis, butter rice, western soup, bread, local dishes etc and want to try something different? Try Jogoya 上阁屋. You can read about the food from ky, nottyjian (April 5th, 2006), xes or wingz - they have lots of pics too! But here, I’m going to tell you about some other important stuffs.

First and foremost is how to get there. I managed to find some Planet Hollywood thing around Lot 10 thanks to the GPS system on my new (second) Garmin iQue 3600. But the satellite reception was bad due to cloudy sky and tall buildings around that area. So I decided to call a friend up for further directions.

He told me to stand in front of Planet Hollywood, facing a 7-Eleven shop and walk towards my right until just before some JW Marriot Hotel. He also informed me that I could see a live band performing on the way if it was at night. He must be an idiot thinking that I would wait for nightfall to find my way, that basket.

I took extra precaution and asked a couple nearby to double-confirm. Ah Beng was giving me some jumbled-up instructions while I tilted my head and look at him sideways. Ah Lian must have sensed that I was having difficulty in understanding her boyfriend so she interrupted us with a very slow sentence, pausing between words - “Why. Don’t. You. Follow. Us?” complete with hand-signs. She must have thought that I was a foreigner. So I replied “Haik! Sumimasen! Aringato!”

They must have felt very proud of themselves. So I decided not to disappoint them. I was a scout. A scout should always 日行一善.

They finally pointed me to the entrance of Starhill and left. I told them ‘Haik! Sumimasen! Aringato!’ before they leave and they bowed to me in return, 90-degree. They must have felt really really proud of themselves!

So I asked the security guard manning the entrance where Jogoya is. He told me to go straight, turn right, walk until I see a lift and go up to release. I told him my bladder was not full. But he insisted that I release it in the lift and turned away. How rude!

Boh pian. I finally found a pair of lifts and pressed the going-up button, trying my luck hoping that I could ask some people on my way up. But that place was nearly deserted. One of the lifts arrived and I found that it was empty. Shit! Now what? A shop attendant was some 30 meters away staring at me accusingly like why did I hail the lift for fun.

Not wanting to bring shame to Japanese, I decided to board the lift. And then suddenly, everything became clear. Instead of numbering every floor, they have names for each, like ‘Indulge’, ‘Pamper’ etc. I found a button called ‘Relish’ and pressed it. How clever of me!

Finally, the door of the lift opened. It was St. Peter’s Gate, guarded by two beautiful angels. Peter was nowhere to be found. Maybe Peter was taking a leak, but who cares.

I asked the two angels “Jogoya?” and one of them replied “This is not Jogoya. Jogoya is opposite there.” I was disappointed. But I kept my hope high. I was hoping that those waitresses at Jogoya would at least be as sweet as them. But man… I was disappointed.

[… to be continued…]

doc posted at 0000 Comments (10)

Friday, April 28th, 2006

Nuts

I don’t know what they call these peanuts, roasted until their skin became black in colour. Taste a little bit like curry powder but not spicy at all.

doc posted at 0742 Comments (5)

Thursday, April 27th, 2006

Robbery

True story. 

Once upon a time there was this lady. She went to a bank to pay some bills. After taking a number, she decided it was still too early. Hence she went out of the bank and hanged around outside.

After some time, she decided it was time to get back into the bank for her number might be up soon. A few steps away from the door, few men rushed past her and one of the men kicked open the bank door.

During the few seconds when she was stunned, one of the men took out a pistol and the bank alarm went off. She quickly backed away to hide in another shop.

Moments later, the men had finished their looting and escaped in a car.

Despite shaken up a little, she went back into the bank and asked one of the tellers…

“Masih boleh bayar ka?”

doc posted at 1126 Comments (3)

Tuesday, April 25th, 2006

Otang

Auntie : “Doc, can I otang this time ar? I’ll pay you when my husband manage to get his money.”

Dr. Liew : “That wouldn’t be a problem.”

Auntie : “Sorry lar. You know, petrol naik, everything naik. My husband’s clients also otang him. Project finish liao people refuse to pay him.”

Dr. Liew : “You don’t have to explain. He told me before.”

Auntie : “I’ll pay you back next week.”

Dr. Liew : “No need. I’m writing this off. Next time I go eat wanton mee at your stall, just put more deep fried pork lard.”

Auntie : “Err…”

Dr. Liew : “Why? Not giving me face?”

Auntie : “No, no, no… I mean…”

Dr. Liew : “You mean you are going to put more deep fried pork lard in my wanton mee.”

Auntie : “Yes, yes, yes…”

Dr. Liew : “Good. NEXT!”

doc posted at 2300 Comments (11)

Friday, April 21st, 2006

Resolution

Uncle : “Want to ask you something.”

Dr. Liew : “Shoot.”

Uncle : “You told me that each memory card I have can store nearly a thousand to several thousands photos. How come the camera told me only a hundred or so? I bought another five similar cards.”

Dr. Liew : “Five more? Marn… You could have bought another camera with that money. Those are 1 gigabyte cards! Should store more than that! Did you check which resolution you are using? Press some buttons until you see some TIFF, SHQ, HQ or SQ.”

Uncle : “Hmm… It says TIFF.”

Dr. Liew : *pengsan*

doc posted at 2027 Comments (5)

Thursday, April 20th, 2006

Polar

RPCNs : “Doc, long distance call.”

Dr. Liew : “Send it in.”

Uncle : “Harlow 世侄! Everything okay?”

Dr. Liew : “Yeah, don’t worry, your daughters are still virgin. Where are you now?”

Uncle : “Somewhere very near North Pole. Want me to bring you anything?”

Dr. Liew : “How about a cute penguin?”

Uncle : “Penguin in South Pole lar duh~~~”

Dr. Liew : “Then polar bear lor… Yum yum~~~”

Uncle : “…”

doc posted at 1940 Comments (1)

Wednesday, April 19th, 2006

Flowers

Auntie : “Yesterday uncle brought me some flowers and I started sneezing shortly after. Today my eyes all swollen up liao.”

Dr. Liew : “Looks like you’re allergic to some pollens or something. Get rid of the flowers and you should be okay.”

Auntie : “But but but…”

Dr. Liew : “For the life of me I can’t understand you women. They are only plants. they can wither and will die, within days. Why didn’t he get something practical like Bluetooth stereo headphone, portable DVD player and all? At least can last more than months or probably years.”

Kid : “Ya ya ya. Like my PSP. Can play games.”

Dr. Liew : “But next time when you chase girlfriend hor, must buy flowers. I don’t know why they like flowers, but it always work.”

Kid : “Maybe it’s their nature. I heard they like roses.”

Auntie : “Aiyah! You small boy won’t understand one lar. But next time mama don’t want you to buy flowers for other girls. You can only buy flowers for mama. Okay?”

Kid : “Then 改次我不能繁殖怎么办?”

Dr. Liew : *LOLFOC*

doc posted at 1913 Comments (8)

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