If you have been visiting Rojak’s guide to Valentine Day’s Gift part 1 and part 2 but still having a difficult time thinking of what to get for your girlfriend or wife, look no further.
Introducing the Ultimate Valentine Day’s Gift from the future : Remote control 7-speed vibrating thongs with Japan’s super powerful 0.25 horse power camera motor. Its built in super lightweight 54,000mAh Lithium Polymer rechargeable battery pack can run for one full week without having to recharge.
Forget those undertable footsies, forget about passing silent body language messages, forget about looking for secluded places, you can even forget about asking for permission. Just press the gawd damned button anytime, anywhere and give her the joyride that she could never have imagined.
From a gentle buzz to continuous roundhouse kicks, you have the ultimate 7-speed controller in your hand, at your discreetion. We are not sure who has the most fun, the one wearing the gift or the one with the remote.
Let us read some stories gathered from some of my close friends.
Friend #1 : “I have been having much difficulty in waking up my wife in the middle of the night to exercise my abdominal muscles. Thanks to this gift, now I can wake her up at the press of a button.”
Friend #2 : “My ex-gf used to stray away when we go shopping and I had to go to the information counter to page her back. So much so that the counter clerk got to know me so well that she had been making secret passes to me which I bueh tahan. Thanks to this gift, now with a press on the button, I can immobilise her and find her with ease by auditory clues. But once, it didn’t really work as expected. I pressed the button when we got separated in a big shopping mall and fifty housewives PLOPPED to the floor simultaneously. They should have unique transmission frequency for each pair.”
Friend #3 : “Thanks to this marvelous invention, I have learnt the true essence of conditioned reflex. When I get home everyday, I press the doorbell and the remote controller simultaneously. I would then enter the house and voila, dinner is ready! With enough training, I can now do without it and rely on the doorbell solely. My dinners have never been so satisfying before this.”
No wires, no noise, just waves of pleasure anytime, anywhere, and you still need to think? Place your order now!
You may want to read the testimonial from Suanie before you place the order. Last I heard her said “never leave home without it”.
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