One afternoon…
RPCN : “Next!”
Fat boy : “Heh heh heh…”
Dr. Liew : “What’s so funny?”
Fat boy : *embarassed look* “Err… err…” *look at RPCN*
Dr. Liew : “You can excuse us.”
RPCNs : “Okay.” *leave room*
Dr. Liew : “Please sit down.”
Fat boy : “Can’t sit. Backside very pain.”
Dr. Liew : “Huh? What happened?”
Fat boy : “Today hor, I got stomachache. Just now very pain. I run to toilet, because very the urgent. Want to come out liao.”
Dr. Liew : “Then? You miss fired?”
Fat boy : “I took off my pants and underwear. Then quickly sit down. That thing really going to come out. But that stupid toilet seat got screw jutting out at the back. I accidentally sat on that screw. Wah lau, so painful. Immediately the shit cannot come out.”
Dr. Liew : “Ooooo…”
Fat boy : “Just now got blood also.”
Dr. Liew : “Come, let’s have a look.”
Fat boy : “Okay.”
Behind the curtain…
Dr. Liew : “It’s okay, just a small abrasion.” *apply some lotion*
Fat boy : “Cilaka betul that toilet.”
Dr. Liew : “Aiyah… not the fault of that toilet lah. Your backside too big liao. People shit no problem. You shit, it happens. You are lucky that screw missed the target. Otherwise you won’t be having constipation problem for the next three months. I’m going to give you some of this lotion. You go back apply three times a day.”
Fat boy : “But I can’t even see the wound.”
Dr. Liew : “Then put a mirror on the floor and squat over it lor. Can see very clear.”
Fat boy : “Okay.”
Dr. Liew : “Just make sure you don’t accidentally step on the mirror and cut yourself.”
Fat boy : “Okay.”
Dr. Liew : “You just learned something today.”
Fat boy : “What?”
Dr. Liew : “Next time if you really bueh tahan, ask somebody to give you a hard kick on your backside. Then you can tahan until you get to a toilet.”
Fat boy : “Muahahaha… you ah.”
Dr. Liew : “Hehehe… Come, let me see what’s wrong with your stomach…”
*February 25, 2003